Questions to ask an attorney before starting divorce proceedings

You've sat down with a divorce attorney's business card in front of you, and you're trying to figure out if this person is going to understand your situation or just rack up billable hours. The questions you ask in that first conversation—and how they answer—will tell you whether you've found someone practical or someone who'll weaponise your marriage on principle.

What does your fee structure actually look like?

A solid answer names the hourly rate, explains what's included (phone calls, emails, court prep), and tells you upfront what costs fall outside that—filing fees, expert witnesses, transcripts. An evasive answer dances around the hourly rate, promises "competitive pricing" without naming it, or quotes only a retainer without saying what happens when it runs out.

Why it matters: You need to know the financial ceiling before emotion takes over. Some attorneys will tell you the realistic range for a case like yours based on complexity; others won't commit to anything. Ask directly: "If this stays uncontested, what's the ballpark? If it gets contested, how does cost escalate?" If they won't answer, they haven't thought it through or they're deliberately staying vague.

How much do you actually litigate versus settle?

Listen carefully here. A good answer is specific: "Most of my divorce cases settle before trial, but I keep every file litigation-ready because the settlement only happens if both parties know you're prepared to fight." An evasive answer is: "I go where the client needs me to go" or "Every case is different"—true, but meaningless.

Why it matters: You want to know if this attorney defaults to aggressive posturing or whether they see settlement as the realistic end-game. Ask a follow-up: "In your experience, what percentage of your divorce files actually reach a courtroom?" If they hedge, they either don't track their outcomes or they're uncomfortable admitting they litigate more than they settle. You're looking for someone who treats court as a backup plan, not a first instinct.

What's your experience with the specific issues in my case?

If you have minor children, a business, a substantial property portfolio, or a previous order to enforce, ask directly whether this attorney has handled similar situations. Don't accept vague reassurance. A strong answer is concrete: "I've handled three business valuations in divorces this year alone" or "I regularly help parents with custody arrangements that stick in a post-order environment."

Why it matters: General divorce experience isn't the same as expertise in your particular tangle. If your case involves child support, you want someone who knows the current child maintenance formula and how courts interpret income. If there's a family business, you need someone who understands business valuations, not just property division. An attorney who glosses over this and says, "I've done hundreds of divorces," is signalling that they'll treat your specific problem as standard.

How do you handle communication, and what's your response time?

Ask: "If I email you a question on Tuesday, when should I expect a reply?" Listen for a realistic commitment. A good answer is concrete—"Within two working days"—and explains the boundary: "Urgent matters get same-day attention; routine questions get a 48-hour window."

Why it matters: Divorce is stressful, and you'll want reassurance. But an attorney who promises same-day replies to everything is either overbooked or will burn out and ignore you anyway. You're looking for someone reliable and bounded, not infinitely available. If they won't commit to a timeline, ask them how they've managed this with previous clients.

The attorney who gives you straight answers about money, settlement philosophy, specific expertise, and realistic communication norms is the one who'll treat your divorce as a problem to solve, not a campaign to fight. Take notes during the conversation, and pay attention to which questions they answer directly and which they deflect. That's your first reading of how this relationship will actually work.

When you're ready to interview candidates, Strove lets you review verified family law practitioners, read their actual experience, and find someone whose approach matches what you're looking for.