Questions to ask a therapist before committing to sessions

You've found someone whose approach appeals to you, or a friend gave a recommendation, or your medical aid listed them as available. Before you book your first session—or commit to a series—you need to know whether you'll actually work well together. The questions below will help you figure that out. They're not about grilling someone; they're about gathering the information you genuinely need.

What training and experience do you have with my specific concern?

Don't accept vague answers. If you're dealing with grief, relationship breakdown, work anxiety, parenting stress, or anything else, ask directly: have they worked with people in your situation before? How long? What frameworks do they use?

A good answer sounds like: "I've worked with people navigating separation for eight years, using both narrative therapy and cognitive approaches depending on what fits." An evasive one sounds like: "I work with all kinds of issues" or "Everyone's situation is unique"—true, but it dodges the question.

Why it matters: a therapist skilled with grief may not be the right fit if you're processing a phobia, and vice versa. Experience breeds confidence and competence.

How do you work—what's your actual approach?

Therapy isn't one thing. Some therapists are talk-focused, others use body-aware techniques. Some are directive, others follow your lead. Some blend multiple approaches; others stick to one school. Ask them to describe what a typical session with them looks like, and what they believe changes happen.

A clear answer: "I usually spend the first part of a session checking in on what's happened since we last met, then we focus on a specific pattern or moment you bring. I use cognitive and somatic techniques—meaning we work with both your thoughts and how your body holds stress." A weak one: "I create a safe space and let you explore" (safe space is necessary, but it's not the method).

Why it matters: you need to know whether their style matches your comfort and what you're willing to try. Some people thrive with structured work; others feel constrained by it.

How long do you think I might need to come?

This isn't asking for a prediction—therapy can't be that precise—but it is asking them to frame realistic expectations. Will they want to see you weekly at first? Do they work short-term (say, six to twelve sessions) or longer-term? Are they comfortable with people coming fortnightly? If you hit a wall, what then?

A thoughtful answer: "Most people come weekly to start, and after four or five sessions we check in on whether this is helping and adjust. Some people work with me for a few months; others for a couple of years. It depends on what you're processing and what shifts you notice." A concerning one: "As many as you need" without any sense of structure, or a rigid formula that doesn't acknowledge your situation.

Why it matters: you need some sense of the financial and time commitment, and whether the therapist will actually help you reflect on progress rather than drift into open-ended sessions.

What happens if I don't feel we're clicking?

This matters more than you might think. A solid therapist should name this possibility directly and not treat it as a failure. They should be comfortable with you saying "this isn't working" and helping you move on, even referring you elsewhere if needed.

A good answer: "Fit is real. If after three or four sessions you feel like we're not gelling, or you're not seeing what you hoped, let's talk about it. We might adjust how we work, or I might refer you to someone else—whatever serves you best." A defensive one: "Once you settle in, you'll see the value" (maybe, but that's not the same as fit).

Why it matters: therapy only works if there's genuine trust. A therapist who makes you feel obligated to stay is not serving you.

Once you've asked these questions and you're satisfied with the answers, you're ready to take the first step. Strove lists verified therapists who can answer these questions clearly—use those conversations to find the person who's right for your journey.